צור השלישי (tzur hashlishi/the third rock)

[bnewman]

In Hebrew liturgy, G!d is not infrequently referred to as a "rock" — a strong place, a solid foundation. The psalmist in particular ofter addresses G!d as "my rock". Some time last year, a certain Shabbat song with the refrain "rock from whose [bounty] we have eaten" got me thinking about my favorite rock, which is my refuge, my foundation, and, indeed, the rock from whose bounty I eat.

Yesterday, following a long and fascinating conversation with debka_notion, preparations for songleading for student-led Reform services this morning (which had the tune in my head), and having recently reread Jewish with Feeling, in which Reb. Zalman talks about more or less exactly this image, I wrote this filk of the last four verses of Psalm 92:

"צור השלישי" (Tzur Hashlishi/The Third Rock from the Sun)

אמיץ כעוף יעלה בכח כעמוד אש מאחוריו
כבר לבבו בתוך הכוכבים ובשמים חלומותיו
עוד יראון מן היריח תכשיט כחול וירוק לפניהם
הצור השלישי משמש הוא צורי ולא עולתה בו

G DG D Em / CG DEm Am D / G C D Bm /[1. C Am G D :/[2. C Am GD G

Amitz ka'of ya'aleh, bako'ach ka'amud esh me'achorav.
K'var levavo betoch hakochavim, uvashamayim chalomotav.
Od yir'un min ha'y'riach tachshit kachol v'yarok lif'neihem.
Hatzur hashlishi mishemesh hu — tzuri, velo avlata bo.

(The bold shall rise up like a bird, with power like a pillar of fire behind him.
Already his heart is among the stars, and his dreams in heaven.
From the moon they shall yet see a blue and green jewel before them.
It is the third rock from the sun — my rock, in which there is no flaw.)

[ edit: minor changes to the Hebrew incorporating some of the suggestions here, posted MP3 ]

Comments

[thnidu.livejournal.com]

Oy gevalt, you crazy filker, you!

(You should know that that's got a background touch of awe.)

[boroparkpyro.livejournal.com]

wow cool!

יישר כח!

[foxfour.livejournal.com]

y'know, i can't help but read that bang as a retroflex click. which leaves this rock with no sonorants, and as quite a mouthful.

[debka-notion.livejournal.com]

That works- that really works. Will there be, at some point, a recording, so we can hear it- or will I need to wait until I can make it to the Boston area again?

[orawnzva.livejournal.com]

The chords given are for the well-known major-key anthemy tune frequently used for the source text, which I'm pretty sure you know, so you can always sing it yourself, but yes, I ought to cetch up on recording soon.

[batyatoon]

... I want to hear that sung.

Are you likely to be at Lunacon this year, by any chance? *hopefuls at you*

[veganstastebest.livejournal.com]

Wow.
I am so glad that you post things because otherwise I'd feel very lonely in my religious leanings.

[zdenka]

Completely off-topic, your icon is excellent.

[orawnzva.livejournal.com]

Happy to help. I'm also always happy to chat about spirituality at the drop of a hat, so drop me a hat line if you want to.

[gorgeousgary]

Cool! You should cross-post that to israfilk.

[zsero.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. How's this:
אמיץ כעוף יעלה, עם כח כעמוד אש מאחוריו
כבר לבבו בתוך הכוכבים ובשמים חלומותיו
עוד מן הירח יראון תכשיט כחול וירוק לפניהם
הצור השלישי מן השמש הוא, צורי ולא עולתה בו

Just trying to make it a bit clearer.

[orawnzva.livejournal.com]

My Hebrew is actually pretty rough — I recognize most of the changes as synonyms, but I'm not sure what difference they do make (or how they affect the scansion). Will you be at Boskone?

[zsero.livejournal.com]

I think so. There's a family event which I was planning to blow off, but now there's going to be another one on Sunday night. So I might skip the con, or I might leave on Sunday instead of Monday.

[zsero.livejournal.com]

In the context of space travel and astronomy, I don't think the moon is ever called לבנה; I think that word is reserved for the moon as seen from Earth, regarded as an object in the sky rather than as an actual rock in space.

מלבנה and משמש mean "from a moon" and "from a sun"; I added the definite article.

[orawnzva.livejournal.com]

I think עוד יראון מן הירח scans better to the tune I'm using than עוד מן הירח יראון. What's the difference in meaning between בכח and עם כח in this context?

[zsero.livejournal.com]

You want to say "with a power...behind him". בכח, to my mind, means "in a power", or "by means of a power".

[orawnzva.livejournal.com]

Well, the power which is like a pillar of fire is how he rises up like a bird (considering the subject). The question is, does ב bind so tightly that כעמוד אש ends up modifying אמיץ rather than כח?

[zsero.livejournal.com]

Or it could be seen as modifying יעלה ; either way, it sounds off to me. But you really need a native speaker, which I'm not. Maybe the post to israfilk will produce some more expert nitpicking.

[nightface.livejournal.com]

First of all, please feel free to ignore any and all of the following. It's your song and a good one, at that. :-)

My suggestion:
אמיץ כעוף יעלה, כוחו כעמוד אש מאחוריו
כבר לבו בין הכוכבים ובשמים חלומותיו
עוד יראון מן הירח תכשיט כחול וירוק לפניהם
הצור השלישי מהשמש הוא צורי ולא עולתה בו

אמיץ כעוף יעלה, כוחו כעמוד אש מאחוריו
This modifies the meaning slightly - making the first line:
"The bold shall rise up like a bird, his power like a pillar of fire behind him."

בכח is usually "by the power of..." like "בכח הזרוע" - "by the power of arms"(physical/martial strength). or by force=forced.
So you could also try this:
אמיץ כעוף יעלה, בכח עמוד האש מאחוריו

for the 3rd line you could also try:

עוד יראון מהלבנה תכשיט כחול וירוק לפניהם
I think לבנה or ירח would both be fine, you're looking for lyrical accuracy, not strict literal interpretation.