Unidentified chocolate substance

[bnewman]

fiddledragon: "I want chocolate! We don't have any chocolate."

Me: "I could get you a canister of unsweetened baking cocoa and a spoon?"

fiddledragon: (paraphrasing) "Um, no."

Me: "I could mix it with sugar..."

fiddledragon: "Or honey..."

Way too long later...

I've discovered a new chocolate substance. It has a dough-like consistency, intermediate between a ganache and a tootsie roll and somewhat rubbery, at room temperature, and doesn't appear to change significantly in consistency after a bit of time in either the freezer or the toaster oven. It can be rolled into balls and just eaten, it could certainly be rolled into balls and then coated in real chocolate to make truffles, and depending on how heat-stable it really is, or what it turns into if it isn't, it might make an excellent filling for pastry.

What is it? It's simply a dough containing unsweetened cocoa powder as the sole dry ingredient and honey as the sole wet ingredient. You will have to knead it, and your hands will get sticky — but, oddly, not that sticky, if you mix it with a fork first so that all the honey globs are coated with cocoa first (the consistency at this stage is very strange, sort of like a bowl of rubbery tendrils). Also, cocoa is so hydrophobic that honey doesn't really stick to it...

I will experiment further and report on any other unusual properties of this substance. Or fiddledragon and I might just eat it.